Hi there, I'm Gabrielle Kawashima, a trauma therapist and the owner of Even Here Therapy. The majority of clients that I work with come in to address trauma. I've noticed that in my years of working with people who have experienced awful, traumatic things, that some types of trauma are seen differently - thought about differently.
Some types of trauma that happens in relationships, interpersonal traumas, are sometimes overlooked or minimized. This may be in part due to how our society views trauma and mental health as a whole. In reality, trauma is not just shock traumas or things that are extremely violent and life threatening.
So, let's explore what interpersonal trauma means and how it can affect an individual.
What is Interpersonal Trauma?
Interpersonal trauma refers to emotional and psychological harm that happens within relationships. This type of trauma can happen from many different forms of abuse, neglect, and betrayal in our close relationships (friendships, relationships with family members, partners, authority figures).
Some of the common examples of interpersonal trauma are physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence, childhood neglect, and bullying.
This can happen in blunt or subtle ways. The most important element of interpersonal or relational trauma is that it breaks or threatens the trust in that relationship and can create dynamics in the relationship that create even more harm. If you would like to learn more about betrayal trauma, which specifically happens around that break in trust, read more here.
Another noteworthy thing about interpersonal trauma is that because it happens in our relationships, it can impact how we connect with other people and what we need in order to trust. When we experience subtle forms of interpersonal trauma that are repeated over and over again, it's almost like pressing on a wound over and over. It makes it harder to heal and can create bigger reactions as the pain grows.
The Emotional and Psychological Impacts
Attachment and Trust Issues
One of the most significant impacts of interpersonal trauma is on an individual's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. It creates a wound, which means that in ways or at times relationships can be painful. Survivors often struggle with trust, fearing that they'll be hurt or betrayed again. It's also our nervous system's top priority to notice threats automatically elicit survival responses, relational threats are no different. So this may even be something that does feel like a conscious choice, but something that keeps playing out. This can lead to difficulties in establishing secure attachments, it may result in patterns of avoidance, dependency and co-dependency, or feeling conflicted about relationships (wanting them and fearing them at the same time).
Self-Worth and Identity
Interpersonal trauma can erode our sense of self-worth and identity. Many of us think about ourselves in terms of the kind of people that we are in relationships. When we experience something in a relationship that challenges that sense of self we've created, it can be difficult.
For example, a population that I work with I often refer to as helpers. 'Helpers' are individuals who have learned to put someone else or something else before themselves. They often identify with their role of helping. If helpers aren't able to sustainably help, if they burn out, or if helping starts to negatively impact them...they can struggle with their own sense of self. Many helpers learn early on in life that if they help others, they feel good about themselves. Deriving self-worth from their abilities to help others also means that their self-worth is contingent on helping others.
The distorted sense of self that can persist after interpersonal trauma can affect how we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, personal goals, other relationships, and even work.
Emotion Regulation
When you've experienced interpersonal trauma, it can feel overwhelming. Many people experience heightened emotions like fear, anger, sadness, and anxiety. These emotional responses can be harder to navigate, meaning that you can spend more time being dysregulated. Emotional dysregulation can present like mood swings, irritability, or difficulty managing stressors (even everyday stressors may throw someone over the threshold).
Mental Health Risks
Relational trauma is a risk factor for several mental health disorders. Common associated disorders include complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders, and depressive episodes. The symptoms of these diagnoses can further complicate someone's ability to lead a fulfilling life and may require comprehensive therapeutic interventions and support.
Physical Health Risks
Trauma doesn't just impact our mental health, it can create some physiological signs and symptoms as well. All of our systems work together, trauma can impact our autonomic nervous system, our endocrine system, our immune system, and our digestive system.
"Current thinking is that the experience of trauma brings about neurochemical changes in the brain. These changes may have biological, as well as psychological and behavioral, effects on one's health" (Jankowksi, K. (n.d.). PTSD and Physical Health. US Department of Veterans Affairs. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/cooccurring/ptsd_physical_health.asp).
Chronic stress and trauma can lead to a range of physical health issues, including cardiovascular problems, gastrointestinal disorders, chronic pain, and a weakened immune system. The mind-body connection is powerful, and often the effects of trauma have physiological symptoms as well.
What Healing from Interpersonal Trauma Can Look Like
Healing from interpersonal relationships involves finding safety in relationships again. Some of the ways we've been hurt can be healed individually, but the rest is healed in the context of a safe enough relationship. This involves building a trusting and non-judgmental relationship where one can feel seen, heard, and validated. Safety is the most important part, as we cannot heal when we are still being re-traumatized.
Understanding the nature of trauma and how it shows up can be another important step. The ability to make sense of symptoms and big reactions can help to reduce feelings of shame, confusion, and self-judgment.
Seeking out therapy that is trauma-informed and especially trauma-focused in order to allow for you to address the the trauma. Some of the trauma modalities I would recommend are:
〰️ Nervous System-Informed Therapy: Trauma primes our nervous systems to interpret cues from our internal or external environments from a protective perspective. Learning about your nervous system and how it's trying to keep you safe, understanding ways to support your nervous system in regulating when you encounter triggers, and beginning to build trust in your ability to change your experiences are some of the big benefits. Look for therapists that describe themselves as nervous system-informed or that incorporate polyvagal theory.
〰️ Self-Compassion: As the trauma we experience in relationships impacts our sense of self and self-worth, self-compassion can be a needed tool in repairing how you feel about yourself. It can also help you build a skillset of coping skills that will allow you to gain more tolerance towards difficult emotions, which is helpful in preparing you for trauma work.
〰️ Brainspotting Therapy: Whether you choose Brainspotting or EMDR, having a in-depth modality that allows you to process and integrate traumatic memories is key. While many therapies take a top-down approach, Brainspotting is bottom-up, meaning that we focus on how the memories and emotions are stored in your body and your subcortical brain. Brainspotting therapy is also an approach that can help you work on your relationship with yourself and your parts.
〰️ Somatic Therapy: Somatic therapies like Somatic Experiencing focus on our physical responses to trauma. Somatic techniques can help to increase awareness of body sensations, release trauma that is held in the body, and guide you in responding to the physiological cues of your body with support.
〰️ Internal Family Systems: Our relationships with ourselves can often become fractured when we experience something traumatic. IFS is a modality that allows you to begin working with the parts of yourself to increase your understanding of yourself and your behaviors.
In my work with clients, I incorporate many of these modalities. Finding a trauma therapist will allow you to create a customized approach, specific to your needs. If you're trying to find a trauma therapist in San Diego or California, there are many competent clinicians that specialize in trauma.
---
If you're interested in individual therapy, reach out today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call. I would love to see if we are the right fit for each other, and if not, support you in finding the therapist that is right for you.
Take care out there.
References
Jankowksi, K. (n.d.). PTSD and Physical Health. Retrieved September 17, 2024, from https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/cooccurring/ptsd_physical_health.asp
Hi there. I’m Gabrielle Kawashima, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Certified Brainspotting Therapist. I have a passion for working with childhood and complex trauma, people who've learned to prioritize others over themselves (helpers), and working with emergency and first responders. If you’re interested in working with me, click below to set up a free consultation (:
Comments