Hi there, I'm Gabrielle Kawashima, a Trauma Therapist located in California and the owner of Even Here Therapy. Many of the clients that I work with come to therapy to address difficulties in their relationships, struggling with stress and anxiety, or feeling disconnected from themselves...however, during the beginning stages of working together, we often discover some of these patterns can be traced back to experiences much earlier on in their lives.
While this isn't true for everyone, many of us are walking through our lives with the echoes of our childhood experiences.
How Our Childhoods Shape Us
The way we move through the world is shaped by the world that we move through. Starting from the very beginning of our lives, we are creating the framework of our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Childhood includes a few of our critical periods, times when our brains and bodies are rapidly developing. Unfortunately, not all of our early experiences are positive. Early childhood stressors and traumatic experiences can have a profound impact on our nervous system, often carrying consequences well into adulthood.
Childhood Stress
As children, when we experience stress, we can think of there being three main types 〰
Positive stress happens when a temporary situation is resolved and we receive positive connection with our caregivers. Their love helps to tone the nervous system to be more able to cope with stressful situations in adulthood.
Tolerable stress happens when we experience a single incident trauma, a one time event. When our caregivers are loving and give us a supportive environment to process our experience, we gain the ability to develop positive coping skills that support us into our adult lives.
Toxic stress occurs when there are significant or ongoing traumatic events and we don't have the support of loving adults. This type of childhood stress is associated with impairments in our emotional and physical health as adults.
Stress is unavoidable AND it is an opportunity to help equip our nervous systems to handle the stress that is to come. If we are not shown and guided through these difficult moments as children, our nervous systems can become primed for danger and our stress responses can become overactivated. This heightened state of alertness, if prolonged, can disrupt the developing brain's architecture, affecting emotional regulation, stress management, and even cognitive functions.
The Stages of Trauma Responses
Our trauma (or stress) responses are the nervous system's way of helping us survive threats, whether they are physical or emotional threats.
Freeze: this is the first stage, our sympathetic nervous system tries to establish safety by keeping us still.
Flight: the sympathetic nervous system now tries to mobilize us for an escape.
Fight: next up is an attempt towards protection through engaging with the threat.
Fright: here, there are abrupt changes in our sympathetic nervous system and the dorsal vagal complex. We can experience panic, dizziness, and nausea.
Flag: The dorsal vagal complex tries to immobilize us in response to the threat. Blood pressure drops, we collapse, feel helplessness, difficulty speaking, loss of vision, and numbness.
Faint: Our nervous system's last resort. Nausea, loss of bowel control, vomiting, or fainting can happen during or after we live through or witness terrible events.
The more early developmental trauma we experience, the quicker we move through these stages and the quicker our nervous system's respond by shutting us down. If there have been many early childhood trauma's or toxic stressors, our social nervous system and sympathetic may fail to engage.
Signs of Unresolved Childhood Trauma
As we grow older, signs of unresolved childhood trauma can manifest in various ways. These might include:
Persistent anxiety or depression
Difficulty in forming or maintaining relationships
Gaps in memory from childhood
Overwhelming feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame
Unexplained physical symptoms like chronic pain or fatigue
Emotional numbness or dullness
Intrusive memories or flashbacks
Restlessness or irritability
Avoidance of situations that remind one of past traumas
People pleasing or obedience
Healing Your Nervous System
Just as our nervous systems can be shaped by what we've lived through, we can work with our minds and bodies to regain flexibility in our nervous system's again. Finding support and a safe enough place to release some of the impacts from our early experiences is an important element in allowing our nervous system's to unlearn and relearn how to interpret our experiences.
So, how do we do this?
Seeking Professional Support: Therapists specializing in trauma that offer therapy directed at both the trauma and the nervous system.
Mind-Body Techniques: Practices like mindfulness, yoga, and meditation can help in re-establishing a connection with the body and calming the nervous system.
Building a Support System: Surrounding yourself with understanding and supportive people can significantly aid the healing process. We co-regulate with the nervous systems of the people around us, choosing calm people to connect with can be a way to use your environment as a support.
Self-Care and Patience: Healing takes time and isn't always as straightforward as we would like. However, taking care of ourselves helps to communicate to us that we are worth caring for.
Healing is possible. With the right support, understanding, and tools, we can begin to heal, reclaiming our lives from the echoes of past traumas. Remember, part of the process is about moving out of a survival state; and finding a path to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
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I'm grateful that I've been able to witness the progress of many individuals who have experienced trauma throughout their lives. If you take anything away from this, know that healing is possible, even here.
Take care out there.
References
Schwartz, A. (2016, October 27). The Neurobiology of Trauma. Dr. Arielle Schwartz. Retrieved December 27, 2023, from https://drarielleschwartz.com/the-neurobiology-of-trauma-dr-arielle-schwartz/
Hi there. I’m Gabrielle Kawashima, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Brainspotting Therapist. I have a passion for working with childhood and complex trauma, people who've learned to prioritize others over themselves (helpers), and working with emergency and first responders. If you’re interested in working with me, click below to set up a free consultation (:
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